this was previously posted as a bit of an attack at men so i figured it would be fair to respond to it:
Here are some obvious facts and two jokes
Advantages Of Being A Woman
Why it's better to be a Woman!
1. We got off the Titanic first. - we value you the same as children
2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. - it would be weird if we flirted with system support men plus we don't blow up our computers
3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. - they make you look like a dyke
4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. - female groupies stalk the band members for unconventional methods of having sex, male groupies stalk the band members for unconventional methods of sex.
5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. - you don't get off them, women drivers are dangerous enough as it is, most policemen are aware of this and give out jail time to a speeding woman.
6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. - you've never had to, you've got us.
7. Taxis stop for us. - you're easier to rape
8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. - that we set up, your welcome.
9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. - you look like a muffin with arms and legs
10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). - better jobs, better prospects, better salaries... (you get the point, we can afford it)
11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. - so can we
12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.- we don't live in hitler's germany
13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. - men call it a pre-nup
14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. - you're missing out
15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. - you can just talk crap, similar idea different oraphis.
16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. - unless you get caught in the wrong light and reveal your ghost stubble.
17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. - we have the option
18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. - more make-up, eventually the facial features will disappear completely and you'll look like a thumb with hair
19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. - occasionally tuck them in
20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. - rapists
21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. - hence you don't fit in.
22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. - we require monkey butlers
23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. - we can talk without the other person having to picture us naked
24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.- if a man can do it he's a king, if a woman does it its scary, also don't do it if you're under 40.
25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. - we wonder why the girls always dine with popeye
26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. - except obesity, ugliness, chronic depression, diabetes...in fact it usually makes them worse
27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. - you will when they get caught on your ego
28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. - men are deeper
29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. - men hold theirs or just don't forget.
30. We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. - men know the easiest way not to get lost is by leaving the woman at home, cleaning.
That's all in good humor, and lets hear them
What is your favorite holiday?